When we’re young, we believe that the purpose of a romantic relationship is to provide you with an ultimate family: first a partner, then kids.But the purpose of a romantic relationship isn’t about procreation, necessarily. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. This is torture.” She thinks, “Why doesn’t he ask me any questions? But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. If you are friends with the person then thoughts of what this could do to your friendship run through your mind.
Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says. The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. Knowing how to approach that first date will help you to be more relaxed and enjoy your date.There are a few questions you may want to ask before taking that first step. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk. A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed and wearing freshly pressed clothes—stylish, but not overdone. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. While it’s impossible to gauge in advance whether any couple will actually make it ‘til death do they part, there are some compatibility factors that offer insight as to whether they’ve got a fighting chance. Often the opposites attract rule comes into play between these two archetypes.While you probably can’t straight out ask your partner whether or not he or she is physically or verbally abusive, a cheater, or an addict—all of which rank among the most popular reasons for splitsville—you can and should sit down and ask each other the following questions. There is no reason to get married or seriously invest in one another if you don’t see eye-to-eye on this matter — unless you’re willing to be swayed. Surely you’ll come up with a more personalized, delicate way to broach this subject, but whatever the case, you must learn the financial standing of the person you’re getting serious with. Because as a married couple, their debt will quickly become your debt. But if you’re idea of a wise investment is tucking away your extra cash for retirement while your mate’s features trips to Vegas and sports cars, you’re destined to clash. While you probably know basics, you might like to know how much your partner is expecting the church, synagogue, mosque, or other to play a part in your lives, as well as your children’s lives should you have them. Would you be willing to go to therapy or counseling if we needed it? Once upon a time, people actually met in real life to date.I know, what an odd and foreign concept…Dating apps have become the norm among Gen-Yers.Top Ten: These are the top ten questions to ask your date.